Grow Where You're Planted

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One of my goals in life is to be a lifelong learner.  For me, I am completely satisfied with my learning being finished inside the classroom but I am still on a journey to absorb as much information as I can from the people I meet, the places I visit, the things I read and even just the environment I am immersed in.  Lately, however, what I am really learning the most about is myself.  

Call it the economy, call it bad luck, but whatever you call it the reality is that I am a part of the epidemic.  I am one of the more than 40% of college graduates without a full time job.  Does that bother me?  Yes, on occasion.  As the first born in my family I put a lot of pressure on myself to set the example.  I always worked really hard in school to make good grades, I hustled in sports to make the team, and I tried to follow all the rules.  It took me months to change my major in college for fear that people would be disappointed that I changed my mind and didn't follow through with my plan.  As I have said before I am an obsessive planner.  So, unfortunately being that kind of person, when I get to feeling sorry for myself for not having a job I immediately think to myself that I am not setting a good example.  But what I am learning is that the little voice pushing me down is not one that is from God or my family, that voice is a lie.  I am learning everyday how to live more and more in the moment.  I am applying for jobs and working back at the church I love during the week.  But something I am learning is that your circumstances are what you make of them.  Grow where you are planted.  Do I get frustrated somedays, sure, but overall I am actually really enjoying this stage of uncertainty more than any other time in my life.  That may sound so strange, heck, it even sounds strange to me but I am at this place 6 days out of 7 where I feel that God is stilling my heart and saying wait, I have great plans even though you can't see them right now.  I have only been out of college for 3 months, and it is ok to not have it all figured out.  It's ok to wonder what's next, but it is also time for me to live for the here and now.  A dream is built with small steps.  

-Rachel