Monday, November 3, 2014

The Single Struggle

At this moment there are 7 wedding invitations on my bulletin board.  I look at them everyday and 6 days out of 7 the only thing I think is how excited I am for my friends to get to share their lives with the ones they love, but on that 7th day I start the comparison game.  

They say comparison is the thief of joy and they (those who say this) would be correct.  It is when we start focusing on the things in our life that seem to be missing rather than the incredible amount that we have, that we tell ourselves we don't have enough.  That we aren't enough.  That Christ isn't enough.  

That's my struggle.  6 days out of 7, I live this life that is so full of joy I can hardly stand it.  I am so fulfilled in my job, in my family, with my friends, with my God at this stage in my life that the don't haves start to fade, 6 days out of 7.  But it's on that 7th day when I get really lonely and start wondering why I'm not enough.  What do I need to change to find love?  Why hasn't God sent (insert name) into my life?  

But you know what, those 6 days out of 7 are what I am going to put my effort, my attention, my focus on.  Because I have so much more to offer than my insecurities point out that I don't.  I want to strive to live the life that God created me to live and you know what, if He has different plans for me than I do myself, why would I want anything different for myself? 

That is easier said than done, I know.  Trust me, I know.  At almost 24 years old, the southern culture I am surrounded with screams that since I haven't found anyone I will be alone forever.  They are wrong.  I am choosing to believe they are wrong.  But I struggle daily with saying that Christ is enough for me and meaning it.  But maybe, just maybe that is where Christ wants me.  Maybe He knows that I struggle with that and that I also am striving to mean it and He is going to push me until I get there.  I am choosing to find happiness and choosing to see beyond the single struggle into a struggle towards the heart of Christ. 


  1. It's definitely a struggle, especially when you're a single parent and want so much to have another person to go to with issues that may come up and you only two little ones to talk to in the evenings at home, haha. We just have to be patient in God's will for our lives and eventually the right person will be placed in our lives. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.

  2. Just stumbled upon this blog, got here from a comment in Relevant. My 26th birthday is days away and I find myself in a similar predicament. All of my friends and colleagues are either married, in the process of being married, or far away.

    Every day I ask God why he has me here, why I am still single, and why I still struggle to believe that Christ IS enough to meet all my needs.

    I have taken to removing acquaintances I am not close with on Facebook whenever they get married. Probably a little harsh, but I get annoyed by all the baby pictures that usually follow a year later.

    Ultimately I know that the love of Christ is enough to sustain me, but sometimes I have to really struggle to believe it.

    Grace and peace. -JR